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Hi. I’m Alla.
I was born in Moscow, Russia, but I grew up somewhere between New Jersey and Brooklyn, which is where I currently live with my husband, our cat Mushu, and our dog Meeko.
Back in another lifetime, I was studying to become a doctor. As a stressed, exhausted pre-med undergraduate student I worked my ass off to graduate summa cum laude (which seemed so important at the time) with a BA in Biological Sciences, putting everything I had into trying to make my “dream” of becoming a doctor come true. But two cycles of medical school applications and about 40 rejection letters later it felt like it was all for nothing. To say I felt like a failure is to say nothing at all; my self-esteem was crushed and I felt like I was back at square one. More than not getting into medical school, at this point in my life I was hit with the reality that I had no idea how to cope when everything started to feel like it was crumbling. Many of us face a similar “quarter-life crisis”, but lack the tools to handle it in the most effective way. I’d go on to realize that medical school wasn’t something I even truly wanted, and that getting rejected opened more doors than I could have ever imagined. But that would be much later. For now, though, insecurities and anxiety penetrated itself into all aspects of my life — my career, my education, my relationships and friendships, my physical health, my self esteem. I felt like I was drowning and had absolutely no control.
Maybe you’re like me, and you also grew up never having learned how to cope when shit got too hard, so you just pushed it all down. Or maybe growing up was just about surviving and trying to make it to tomorrow, so focusing on what sparked your excitement and made you feel alive was never a priority.
However you grew up, you’re probably familiar with the overwhelming feeling that you just aren’t where you “should be”, aren’t who you “should be”.
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I knew something had to change and for that to happen, I needed a little help. I began seeing a therapist, and little by little all the pieces began to fall into place. I got a glimpse of what it was like to feel in control of my life, my relationships, my anxieties. I learned how I had been getting in my own way all these years, why it was so hard for me to stay motivated and not be afraid to fail, and how important it was to prioritize myself and my mental wellbeing. While I did not go on to become a doctor, it became clear to me that what I wanted to do was to help people who were dealing with some of the same struggles. I wanted people who were feeling trapped by low self-esteem, self-doubt, anxiety, fear to feel like there is a way out, a way to learn how to put yourself first and feel in control of your life. I also wanted to understand why mental wellbeing and resilience was something most of us were never taught to prioritize.
I went on to get my Master of Public Health and focused on just that. I learned the way our environment, our upbringing, our trauma, our gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, age, and economic status all play into the ways we approach our life and our wellbeing. But I wanted to go further. I wanted to figure out how we could support people in building the lives they deserve. How can we nurture skills that can help deal with anxiety, fear, anger, and pain and improve self-esteem, motivation, healthy attachments and boundaries, and rewarding relationships? And I wanted to find a way to facilitate that; to support people, who also felt stuck, lost, and overwhelmed feel in control of their lives and confident that they can figure out how to move forward their way.
This is when I discovered coaching. Coaching helped me figure out exactly what I want and why, and taught me how to set myself up for success and move forward and actually be excited to wake up every day (or, at least, much more often than before..let’s be honest, life gets freaking hard!). Coaching my clients and going through coaching programs myself, I saw firsthand how learning these new tools can help you understand and move past the ways in which you’ve been getting in your own way. It felt like a weight’s been lifted, and this feeling of control and empowerment is exactly what I want to provide for my clients.
What does my approach look like?
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There is no magic potion, quick fix, or “one-size-fits-all” model. Every human being has their own set of skills, strengths, passions, and struggles, and together, we will work to figure out what makes the most sense for you. What makes you feel alive, what brings you the most joy, what makes you feel strong and in control? As your life coach, I work to help you find the ways to overcome whatever you’re struggling with so that you can go on and truly thrive. Whether it’s figuring out how to deal with everyday stress, how to make your relationships feel more rewarding, how to feel more confident and fulfilled, how to excel in your education or professional life, how to figure out your passions, I am in your corner. I will give you support and guidance, hear you, hold you accountable, and hype you up (I think that’s something we all can use a little more of). Together, you and I will come up with a plan that you can feel good about.
What do I bring to the table?
I am certified as a Mindset, Relationship, Transformational, Positive Psychology, and Solution-Focused Coach – which, put in normal person terms, just means that I am trained in a variety of evidence-based coaching techniques as well as coaching ethics so that I can help you come up with the plan that will work best for you, tailored specifically with your goals, strengths, skills, and desires in mind. In addition to my training as a coach, I also have a Master in Public Health, so I am trained in understanding and recognizing the social determinants of physical and mental health, why some people have an easier time setting goals and achieving them, while the rest of us may need a little push and some guidance.
It’s okay if you’re not sure that this is the right step for you right now. Maybe you aren’t ready, or maybe you’ve already tried a thousand different things, and none of them have worked, so why should this? From personal experience, I know trying to figure it out on your own can feel like walking around in circles – it’s hard to see the bigger picture and figure out exactly how you’re getting in your own way. Having an objective person to bounce your thoughts, feelings, and ideas off of, someone who is trained to help you get to the root of things and figure out how to get you to where you want to be can change everything. I would love to be that person for you.
Before you commit, I encourage you to sign up for a free 30 minute consultation call – during that time, we will feel each other out and you will get a better idea of how coaching works, who I am, and what I can offer you. I am so excited to hear from you and whether or not we work together, I truly wish you the best of luck in everything you do. You got this.
– Alla